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The Big Bend Chat Archives => Off Topic.... => Topic started by: SHANEA on January 20, 2007, 11:20:18 AM

Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: SHANEA on January 20, 2007, 11:20:18 AM
Hey, thought there was a post for WOMEN only, so figured we needed a thread only for men - no "girly men" allowed  :P  

Don't have any questions so far, but figured I'd see how many women hijacked the post.   :P
Title: Re: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: presidio on January 20, 2007, 11:41:28 AM
Quote from: "SHANEA"
Hey, thought there was a post for WOMEN only, so figured we needed a thread only for men - no "girly men" allowed  :P  

Don't have any questions so far, but figured I'd see how many women hijacked the post.   :P


Here's the first:

How much of the alphabet can you recite in one beer belch?

(That ought to provoke something from the women  :D )
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: homerboy2u on January 20, 2007, 12:00:20 PM
O.K....I have one. Let'sa say you hunkered down on your extra tough, -20?F rated sleeping bag, you also have a good Dupont Hollofill jacket on, and 2 pair of cotton excersise pants, a good set of thinsulate gloves.

  Your saying to yourself: " Cold freeze...smleeze", is this the toughest weather you can throw this way, i am all comfy here snuggly warm and beating the elements as they howl in my military reinforced 50 mph wind resistant tent .

  Cool, right :?: ...but theeeenn.....out of now where, you get the urge. You can beat it, it's there you gotta go and fast..you gotta pee. You can keep it in with you until the morning , it's going to sting :oops:  , even if you try. You are all zippered up and ready to take some some Zzzz's. :mrgreen:

  What are your options, is there something oput there to just let it all go :?: ...or are you going to have and do the whole banana peeling thing to go out. #-o

 Something, that has crossed my path, on several times.
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: presidio on January 20, 2007, 12:13:53 PM
Quote from: "homerboy2u2"
theeeenn.....out of now where, you get the urge. You can beat it, it's there you gotta go and fast..you gotta


Well, if you hadn't had all those beers so you could work on the alphabet, you wouldn't be in this pickle! :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: BigBendHiker on January 20, 2007, 12:50:13 PM
Quote from: "SHANEA"
Hey, thought there was a post for WOMEN only, so figured we needed a thread only for men - no "girly men" allowed  :P  

Don't have any questions so far, but figured I'd see how many women hijacked the post.   :P


What!!  No girly men allowed!?!?  Arnold would be proud!


BBH
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: BigBendHiker on January 20, 2007, 12:51:50 PM
Ok...I will get serious... :oops:

Question -- who has the most Craftsman sockets and ratchets?  (that seemed a manly question to ask).  :D


BBH
Title: Just Do It...
Post by: SHANEA on January 20, 2007, 12:53:07 PM
Quote from: "homerboy2u2"

 Something, that has crossed my path, on several times.


The way I see it, you have many choices.  
1.  Do the Alan Shepard astronaut type thing and just pee in your bag - ie. when he was the first American to get launched, they hadn't figured he'd be on the launch pad so long and hadn't built in anything to do his business with and couldn't get unzipped, so he just peed in his space suit.

2.  Forget the tent and sleeping bag and get you an R2D2 unit and you don't have to worry about it.

3.  If I'm in a tent, sleeping bag, etc. - I just get up and do it.  I can't sleep well with the "urge" so I just get up, unzip and do it regardless of the weather.  Not going to do it in the tent either in a bottle or something, too big of a chance of spilling it and in a backpacking tent no room.  Just be a Man and Do it! :P
Title: Re: Just Do It...
Post by: BigBendHiker on January 20, 2007, 01:04:20 PM
Quote from: "SHANEA"
Quote from: "homerboy2u2"

 Something, that has crossed my path, on several times.


The way I see it, you have many choices.  
1.  Do the Alan Shepard astronaut type thing and just pee in your bag - ie. when he was the first American to get launched, they hadn't figured he'd be on the launch pad so long and hadn't built in anything to do his business with and couldn't get unzipped, so he just peed in his space suit.



Yes, that is true.  Didn't the flight controllers see it by way of temperature changes in his space suit?


BBH
Title: Re: Just Do It...
Post by: SHANEA on January 20, 2007, 01:07:16 PM
Quote from: "BigBendHiker"
Quote from: "SHANEA"
Quote from: "homerboy2u2"

 Something, that has crossed my path, on several times.


The way I see it, you have many choices.  
1.  Do the Alan Shepard astronaut type thing and just pee in your bag - ie. when he was the first American to get launched, they hadn't figured he'd be on the launch pad so long and hadn't built in anything to do his business with and couldn't get unzipped, so he just peed in his space suit.



Yes, that is true.  Didn't the flight controllers see it by way of temperature changes in his space suit?BBH


Yep.  In the book from Tom ??? "The Right Stuff", they made the poor man "wait forever" until they game him permission to relieve himself.  They weren't sure if it would short out some electrical stuff and shock him.  Werner Von Braun finally gave him permission to "relieve himself".  If I recall correctly from his book, Shepard threatened to unzip the suit, open the hatch, and stand out on the platform and do it for all the world to see.  :shock:
Title: Re: Just Do It...
Post by: BigBendHiker on January 20, 2007, 01:14:56 PM
Quote from: "SHANEA"
Quote from: "BigBendHiker"
Quote from: "SHANEA"
Quote from: "homerboy2u2"

 Something, that has crossed my path, on several times.


The way I see it, you have many choices.  
1.  Do the Alan Shepard astronaut type thing and just pee in your bag - ie. when he was the first American to get launched, they hadn't figured he'd be on the launch pad so long and hadn't built in anything to do his business with and couldn't get unzipped, so he just peed in his space suit.



Yes, that is true.  Didn't the flight controllers see it by way of temperature changes in his space suit?BBH


Yep.  In the book from Tom ??? "The Right Stuff", they made the poor man "wait forever" until they game him permission to relieve himself.  They weren't sure if it would short out some electrical stuff and shock him.  Werner Von Braun finally gave him permission to "relieve himself".  If I recall correctly from his book, Shepard threatened to unzip the suit, open the hatch, and stand out on the platform and do it for all the world to see.  :shock:


Tom Wolfe.  Great book and good movie!

Shepard likely would have done that (opened the hatch and shown the world...)


BBH
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: bdann on January 20, 2007, 01:36:11 PM
yep, just gotta get out of the tent and do it.  no other option my friend.
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: Casa Grande on January 20, 2007, 01:51:02 PM
it's cold anyway...so just do it there.
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: Bluetex on January 20, 2007, 02:14:18 PM
Quote from: "presidio"
Quote from: "homerboy2u2"
theeeenn.....out of now where, you get the urge. You can beat it, it's there you gotta go and fast..you gotta


Well, if you hadn't had all those beers, you wouldn't be in this pickle! :mrgreen:


HAHA! :lol:  Sooo true!
Title: belch
Post by: txrounder on January 20, 2007, 02:39:59 PM
not sure about the alphabet, but can do a great renditition of.... "Deutchesland,Deutchseland, uber alles" ...Pearl Beer and warm champagne in the Hot Springs can produce an enormous amount of gas. Perhaps the "no alcoholic beverages" rule was an effort to curb Global Warming by "greenhouse gasses"
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: Robert on January 20, 2007, 03:01:10 PM
Quote from: "homerboy2u2"
you gotta go and fast..What are your options, is there something oput there to just let it all go


Two words....pee bottle.

Take a 32 oz nalgene bottle with you into the tent. You might choose to label it so that it doesn't get mistaken for lime gatorade. Then when nature calls, try not to overfill the bottle.
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: RichardM on January 20, 2007, 03:07:46 PM
Personally, I just make sure my bladder's empty before I get in the sleeping bag.  Otherwise, I'll either tough it out or get out and go.

My Dad wanted to use a pee bottle in 11/2005, but I said "not in my tent".  Good thing, as his bottle (old 1/2 gallon milk bottle) had a leak when he tried using it just outside the tent.  Never mind that we were camped right across the road from the bathroom in the Basin campground.  :roll:
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: TheWildWestGuy on January 20, 2007, 03:33:16 PM
Proper backcountry etiquette is to dig a "pee trench" running away from the door of your tent.  This is the perfect compromise between getting dressed and going outside and being unrefined and pissing in your tent/bag/bottle/whatever.   This is especially ideal for solo backpackers or those without "signficant others" along.   Be sure to end the trench with an "infiltration pool" away from the tent and make sure it is sloping AWAY from the tent and not back-towards the tent.  Proper etiquette also dictates that you should cover the pee trench with dirt and dust as soon as you get up in the morning so it is not visible to any passers-by.   The pee trench also serves as a scent-warning to any nocturnal animals that might be prowling around your campsite at night - it says "Don't Mess With Me I Am A Big Human Male With Lots of Piss".   You will sleep better at night knowing you have left your scent around the campsite as a warning to all creatures great and small... TWWG
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: The Trout Whisperer on January 20, 2007, 03:43:25 PM
Homero...if i was wearing synthetic/polyester pants......don't bother gettin out....they'll dry pretty fast............... ......pee in the comfort of yer tent       : )
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: presidio on January 20, 2007, 05:03:46 PM
Quote from: "Robert"
Two words....pee bottle.


Two more words: Big Mess

as it get used in the cramped confines of a backpacking tent.  :D
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: presidio on January 20, 2007, 05:07:31 PM
Quote from: "RichardM"
Personally, I just make sure my bladder's empty before I get in the sleeping bag.  Otherwise, I'll either tough it out or get out and go.


Toughing it out is counterproductive when it is cold. You use a lot of energy keeping waste liquids warm. Off load it and you'll be so much warmer, not to mention more comfortable. The couple of minutes out of the bag aren't that big of a deal, even when it's extremely cold.

Quote
I said "not in my tent".


Wise decision.
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: presidio on January 20, 2007, 05:12:09 PM
Quote from: "TheWildWestGuy"
Proper backcountry etiquette is to dig a "pee trench" running away from the door of your tent.


This quickly runs afoul of the NPS prohibition on digging, doesn't it? After all, the only thing they seem to tolerate is a 'cat hole'. I guess you could articulate a linear cat hole on the basis of moving while doing it, even though that is an image I'd rather not have to dwell on. :shock:  :shock:

Quote
The pee trench also serves as a scent-warning to any nocturnal animals that might be prowling around your campsite at night - it says "Don't Mess With Me I Am A Big Human Male With Lots of Piss".


Why not just spray the whole area down before retiring? You know, fire-hose like?  :D  :shock:
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: presidio on January 20, 2007, 05:15:05 PM
Quote from: "The Trout Whisperer"
Homero...if i was wearing synthetic/polyester pants......don't bother gettin out....they'll dry pretty fast............... ......pee in the comfort of yer tent       : )


That 'aaahhhhh' moment will fade pretty quick as the liquid cools. Of course, you'll be trailing that 'don't mess with me scent' everywhere you go since you've messed yourself.  :shock:  :shock:

The benefit side of the cost/benefit ratio here is real low.  :D
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: Robert on January 20, 2007, 09:52:28 PM
Quote from: "presidio"
Two more words: Big Mess
as it get used in the cramped confines of a backpacking tent.  :D


Quote from: "presidio"
The couple of minutes out of the bag aren't that big of a deal, even when it's extremely cold.


To each his own. First off when it is cold AND raining (like is was last week) it is more than a couple of minutes to get dressed, take care of business, and then get undressed. The issue to me is that I don't sleep soundly when backpacking anyway and all the dressing/undressing ensures I'm going to be wide awake when done.

Secondly, I haven't been in a backpacking tent yet that was so cramped that it made it difficult.

At any rate the original post was asking for options. I posted an option that obviously is not for everyone.
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: homerboy2u on January 20, 2007, 09:58:52 PM
OK...people...many options: I know. I have personnally have given some thought to all of them at different times, but one idea still escapes us all: What if instead I use a deflated ballon and fill it up all the way, I wouldn't be needing getting out to the cold...and it would be very cold outside. Reason enough for consideration in getting out.

  Now second question, you are summon to a soiree in BiBe. First time for you and the rest of the people meeting up there. We get to talk, get to know each other, start to know a little of our background ...you know: having a conversation.

  You make a colective dinner with Frijoles...lots of frijoles and onions and lemon & pepper chicken...why not: For dessert.....some lettuce salad. You know where I am getting :?:

  You start making a good mood, telling stories...most of them are lies, but nobody gives a hoot about it,everybody's enjoying the moment.  You drank a full 6-pack of Fat Tires, have gotten to belching your A,B,C's...but  it is starting to be impossible to keep it anymore: Your gonna blow :!: ..what do you do :?: . I have to add, your in the middle of a story, but it's coming....MOBY DICK  :shock:  is going to make it's appearence. You are in a comprimising postion.... :oops:

SO LETS SEE......

  First time friends, great mood, awsome stories, a more than superb dinner...your gonna blow :!: ...what do you do :?: , very difficult to excuse yourself: You have a lot of questions coming your way..impossible to slip away, unless you are rude..it's coming. ....WHAT TO DO :?:
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: Al on January 20, 2007, 10:47:02 PM
Have a contest among the males to see who can pee the furthest and who can pee the longest?

Al
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: Burn Ban on January 21, 2007, 12:19:45 AM
Quote from: "Al"
Have a contest among the males to see who can pee the furthest and who can pee the longest?

Al


sadly for the rest of us, i think my 6 year old son can dominate both contests.  

i'll cover all bets.
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: Al on January 21, 2007, 01:13:17 AM
Obviously we need another qualifier. . . and is old enough to legally drink beer!

Al
Title: Questions for MEN only!
Post by: tinneyr on January 21, 2007, 01:18:33 AM
LOL!  I can just see the women now just shaking their heads at all this manly chat.